Frustrated or not

Alright the last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking. The more I thought about stuff the more frustrated I would get. Then I really got to thinking why am I so frustrated there is no need in it. The stuff that I am frustrated about is kinda in my control but really is not. What I mean by that is the whole thing about looking for a job. I mean the only thing that I can do right now is fill out as many applications as I can but then it is up to the people if they want to hire me or not. Plus the only other thing that I can do about that is pray about it. I really have to let God guide me.
Right now I am were God's wants me. Some times I wonder why I am where I am. The thing that I really have to remember is that I am here in this particulate part of my life is for a reason. I am not sure of what it is right now and probably will never know until I get to heaven. Another thing that I have really learned is can't run from God. He is walking with you everyday. You may think you are alone in situations but your not God is with every step of the way. All He is asking you to do is trust Him and let Him guide you. The things in your past really can not hurt you but only make you strong and a better person if you only learn from them. Some day you will be able to use experiences in your life to help someone else a long the way.
I once heard that God will let you be on a mountain for a time but He also wants you to be in the valley to help someone else find their mountain top. So right now the only thing I really want to do is serve God.

Seeing Yourself

I have been thinking a lot about the question: Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? By the way I really hate this question cause there has been time in my life that I had to say I don't know. I would love to be back in ministry full-time. I was doing work in mission but I cam home because I was disobedient to God. I am trying to change all of that and really stop and listen to God. I know ministry is all around me and you don't have to look hard or far.
Right now as far as ministry is concern I am not sure where God wants me. Far as I know God has me right where He wants me and that is witnessing to as many people as I can. Two songs come to mind. The first son is "Until the Whole World Hears" by Casting Crown. We don't stop witnessing until the whole world hears. The second one is "While I am Waiting" by John Wailing. Until we do find out where or what God's wants us to do we need to serve Him in everything.
Baiscally when it comes back to the question where do I see myself in 5 or 10 years? I am just going to focus on doing and serving for the Lord. I know that I have a family and a church family that will help and also hold me accountable to my actions. Trust me they already have and they will continue to do so.

Challenging

I could not come up with a name for this blog. I just had a hard time coming up with one. Today was spent looking for jobs and sending out resumes. I hate doing this process. I wish it was easy. I wish something would fall into my lap. Through all of this I am learning patience. If anyone knows me this is really hard for me cause I do not have patience at all. I want everything right then and there.
Right now I am thinking of someone. I just can not stop thinking about him. Maybe it is because we went though stuff together or that maybe I hurt him. I am not sure. Also it might be because I care for him a lot. It is not a care of that I love him but a care to know where he is spiritual. I want to witness to him so bad but I can't cause I know he want listen to me not with what I have done. I am praying that he will come around and that maybe someone else will come around and witness to him. I feel like he want listen to me anymore. Right now I am not sure of him and whats going on with him. If anyone has any ideas on how to witness or wants to help me witness to him I am all up for it. I just can not let him pass knowing that I could do something that could change his life forever.

Looking!!!

Alright time to get focus on a lot of things. The first one and the most important is my relationship with God. I really need to focus on Him. I know that if I do focus on Him everything in my life will fall into place. He will never lead me astray.
The second one is looking for another job. I really would like to do something with children and young people. I would like to do something in the ministry with children. I have applied to different churches and such but I have not had any luck. The only thing that I am having to remember is praying about it. So if anyone has any ideas please let me know cause right now I can use all the help I can with the job search.

Changing

Right now I am taking one day at a time. Letting God take control instead of me. I am seeing that that way is easy but hard at the same time. Part of me wants to hold on but knows that God's way is a lot better then mine.
Today started off better no tears when I woke up this morning. Then I get to work and the housekeeping had a meeting then I got asked to stay afterward. Well I did and I got more bad news that I really did not want to hear but needed to hear. So I started crying again. I already felt bad but trying to feel better. The news that I got just made it worse then it needed to be.
Well there are these bracelets that my church handed out as a witnessing tool. I have not been wearing lately because of what I had been doing. I felt ashamed of what I was doing and felt like it was not right to be doing what I was doing while I was wearing it. Basically I could not bring myself to witness to someone knowing what I was doing in my personal life. So last night I got to thinking about the bracelet and how I needed accountability. The bracelet is now become part of my accountability. I can see it everyday and know what I am and what I need to be doing. That I am a Christian and everyday I need to be witnessing. I need to be witnessing either through words, actions, or both.

Accountable

We are 21 days into the New Year's and it feels like it has already been a year. A lot has happened to me in 21 days into the year. Lets just say that it was not good. Lets also say that I want to put it behind me and move forward now. I have gotten away from God and now I want to get back on track with Him. I want to be able to use this blog as a way to be held accountable to people. I want people that read this to see the change and also to be able to witness to the people that are reading this that don't have a relationship with God. Also to be able to get advice on things that are going on in my life. This is going to be a big year and God is going to use me this year I can feel it. Please pray for me as I will be praying for you.